Make History or Be Remembered

A coworker wore into work on casual Friday a t-shirt that had the words “well behaved women seldom make history.” This was a souvenir gift from her boyfriend’s parents.  I sniggered with her that these potential in laws are saying she is not a well behaved woman. She insisted that the phrase is well known and does not necessarily mean that she is a naughty girl in the eyes of these parents. Upon a Google search we found the source of the statement. It was in the opening paragraph of a literary journal article about Puritan women and what is known about them through their eulogies. The article is written by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.

While at BYU studying history the name Laurel Thatcher Ulrich popped up in one of the required History classes. She is an LDS historian who wrote about Puritan women’s history. The fields of history that I have been most drawn to are colonial period, and women’s history. Why I did not gravitate to this historian earlier I just don’t know. Regardless, in the unexpected form of a t-shirt, I was introduced again. I took a break from reading adventure fiction novels and wet my feet in historian texts once again.

“Well-behaved women seldom make history” draws to mind very diverse yet similar images. Any woman that lived many years ago had to have done something extraordinary in order to be remembered today. By today’s standards this extraordinary thing would be considered quite ordinary; but at the time of the historical woman it could very likely have been considered misbehavior. The extraordinary thing could have been at one time keeping a journal as the written word was not the societal norm it is today. Or it could have been cross dressing and joining the army to physically fight for freedom. Both circumstances would allow present persons to remember and connect with these women. I feel there is a difference, however, between making history and becoming notorious. Notoriety seems to have a sense of evil doing to it that is beyond the line of misbehavior. In the vast history of witch hunting for example there were women who were targeted for life circumstances of being single or childless and that was the extent of their misbehavior. There were likely others who in actuality were acting with intentions that were mean and unrighteous and this was why they became targets for the witch hunts.

The last line of the book sums up my interpretation of the phrase best. Mrs. Ulrich writes, “Well-behaved women make history when they do the unexpected, when they create and preserve records, and when later generations care.” It is a simple formula for how to be remembered. To make history one simply does something unexpected and someone else cares. Being remembered does not always require misbehavior.

One of the stories in the book was about two old women who decided that they wanted to register to vote despite being before the 19^th Ammendment. They were denied in their endeavor. In response these sisters in their late seventies and early eighties decided they would no longer pay the taxes on their farm. The tax collector came to collect the taxes and took their cows as payment. The cows would not be milked by anyone other than the tenant of the sisters. When the cows were milked the woman who treated the milk would not do so because the cows were stolen, and thus the milk spoiled. The cows after an absence were returned to the women in whole. A journalist at the time wrote, “Does taxation without representation cease to be tyranny, and become justice, when the property-owner is a woman?” The imagery of the Revolutionary War in the words of this journalist did make me laugh at loud. The stubbornness of these Grandmas is inspiring and endearing.

Many young girls want to grow up to be famous. They want people to know who they are. As they grow up, these little girls now little grandma’s, no longer want to be famous; but instead want to be remembered. It is far easier to be remembered today with our prevalence and ease of journaling and social media, photography and computers. The key ingredient to being remembered is that someone needs to care. Misbehavior stands out as it is often sensational and scandalous; yet other traits of bravery and personality can also entice future generations to care.

Past generations of women that we remember today had some advantages that their contemporaries likely did not. These women were very talented in some regard. This could have been in art, music, writing, or beauty. Their talents set them apart from other women who may have had the same talents on a more mediocre scale. Other women who had the social standing and thus familial wealth to pay for training to develop these talents further were noted to be very accomplished as well. Thus, an exceptional talent or the means to develop an exceptional talent allowed such women to stand out from the crowd. Women that others noted as exceptional were granted immortality through writings or images. Those works that have been preserved for today allow current men and women a glimpse into the lives that these women lived. And thus, be remembered.

The statement “Well-behaved Women Seldom Make History” could perhaps be true. Breaking gender and societal norms for women has granted many historical women a place in history. Women that fought in battles, women that dressed in drag, women that did what had been men’s work, women who did not bear children, women who used crass language. These women who acted like men would have stood out from the other women in their towns. People who met these masculine women would have passed word about her for good or ill. These women would have been written about and thus we have something to remember them by.

Well-behaved women can write their own place in history. Through journals, diaries, stories, and pictures ordinary everyday women are remembered. They very likely lived very ordinary lives filled with mundane chores and tasks. These daily tasks make up the whole of the individual and the life that they lived. There is something very exciting about discovering what someone did with their life. What historical events were they blessed to see or be a part of. What kind of person they were. “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). It is the little details that make the life of the individual. Every person lives their own unique life and has their unique experiences and perspectives. There are similarities in what many people see and say. Yet there cannot be two exact lives. We have been blessed to have agency. To choose for ourselves what we will do with the time on Earth that we have been given.

To be remembered someone else needs to care. In my journal I write for myself. I don’t imagine anyone else would care as much as I would. But, I care. I care about the mundane, boring, and repetitive daily activities. I care because I remember. I remember the person I was when I wrote the entry. I remember what I wrote, and I remember what I did not write. Even if I am the only person to care, the girl and the young woman who wrote the journal entries long ago will always be remembered.

There and Back Again

Since the triathlon I have gleefully discontinued much of my exercising regime. I have gone on a jog one time. And I have gone swimming one time if you count the time I sat in the hot tub. (If you don’t count that subtract one from that number.) Life has continued quite nicely cutting out these activities that are not on my joy list.

The one event from the Triathlon that I have continued with is Cycling. If you trust the Map my Ride application on an ipod I have gone nearly one thousand miles since November! I think the application exaggerates the mileage quite regularly. Regardless, my bike has certainly gone some distance.

Most of these miles are from biking to and from work. I have been able to do this a couple days a week - this distance is somewhere between 15 and 22 miles.

Jogie recently has had a rotation at the Phoenix VA which is nearby to where I work. It has been nice because our schedules have coincided nicely such that we have been able to carpool. On many of these carpool days we loaded up my bicycle so I can bike home when I am finished, and Jogie can drive home when he is finished. I have gotten many more biking days in per week than I otherwise would.

Meanwhile, Jogie’s been wanting to do a big, weekend bike ride. Over Conference Weekend we rode our bikes to Wickenburg, Arizona. This is a town that is about fifty miles from our home. The plan was to ride out Friday night after work, and ride back Saturday. Saturday morning as we were preparing for our return ride Jogie was considering calling our Home Teachers to come pick us up because he was just too tired. We started on our return bike ride without calling for a ride. This return ride was definitely more strenuous solely because of the sun. All said we made it there and back which means we did a hundred miles in a 24 hour period! As the week progressed the most difficult part of recovery for me was the sunburn from the bits of skin that I missed when I applied sun screen such as wrists, fingers, forehead under the bangs, ankle, and back of knee. As Jogie has been out of practice on his bike his path of recovery was a little different. All of his biking muscles were so sore that many of his activities of daily living were compromised for a couple days. Despite sunburns and muscle aches we are proud of our ride that took us there and back again.

Next thing on our list is to do a hundred miles in one day. The hardest thing will be having our schedules both match up with one of an organized ride. Hopefully, that goal can be realized soon.

Bucket List

So, I have some major catching up to do. At least I can say I was having great life experiences and adventures even though I have not been documenting it.  In college I had roommates that felt like they needed to catch up on their journaling because they had not written what they intended for months on end. Some even left blank pages between entries to leave room for the entry they really wanted to write; but did not have time for. I now know how that feels. I am famously good at my personal journal and keeping that up to date. I like having something to prove that I really did something every single day. But with my blog I am terribly behind. Rather than apologize for it I’ll make amends; and document those adventures that I really wanted to include.

The great life experiences are thus: Sprint Triathlon, Skydiving, and a Hot Air Balloon Ride.

First off the Sprint Triathlon which we did in Anthem, Arizona. Firstly, both Jogie and myself completed the course. We are so stoked that we did it. The race was a reverse triathlon which means that the order of the race was running, biking and then swimming. The race was disorganized and when it came time to start I could not find any of the runners or even where the starting line was at. It was behind the trees and across a bridge. Luckily with some panic I made it.

The running section wasn’t too bad. It started easily enough with a gentle downhill jog. I definitely felt like I was Miss Awesomeness. Then half way through it slopes uphill. Yeah. My running skills are really not up to squat like I had envisioned. Jogie similarly was no enthused with his running ability.

The biking was the opposite experience. It was really fun. It had a huge downhill that with our super awesome bikes allowed us to push faster and faster. It was so exciting to be passing people on the cycling course. I thought I was doing so well because I passed more people than passed me.

The last course was the swimming. Of course Jogie rocked it and loved it. I did not. But I finished. I suppose I can’t expect to be an amazing swimmer when I had never tried lap swimming until this summer.

In each of our age groups we ranked 9^th. This was not enough to place; but it is enough to brag about. So yeah, we got ninth; Yeah!

Just prior to our Triathlon we tried out Skydiving. Jogie particularly was excited to be doing this. His brother had done this and recommended it to him; and Jogie became a believer based on his brother’s testimony. When we got to the airport they had us put on ugly jumpsuits and dorky helmets. I would have felt more self-conscious but Jogie was wearing a pink jump suit and I had lucked out with yellow. Jogie’s mom came to watch. She was really excited to have a front row seat.  As we were waiting and watching the previous jumpers land someone called my name. He introduced himself as the person who was going to jump with me. So I followed him around. After grabbing the backpack that contains the chute he leads me out to the little plane in the middle of the runway. We walk underneath the plane and then he pulls out a bunk bed ladder for us to climb into the plane. Climbing this ladder was the scariest part of the whole experience. I thought for sure the plane would start rolling and try to take off while I was climbing the ladder! Inside the plane instead of seats they have two benches in the middle of it. The idea was you straddle the benches in the order that you will jump. I was the second to last to jump out. Jogie was the last. My fellow jumper sat behind me and alternated between asking me if I was scared and singing Willow Smith’s song “I whip my hair back and forth” to me. I think he was jealous of my pony tail. That or he was nervous to be eating my hair during the entire fall. 

Jumping out of the plane was a cinch. All you do is squat down at the opening and when you lean forward the wind will pull you right out. Freefall was boring. You try to see or hear stuff; but it is going so fast you really can’t tell anything. My jumping buddy pointed out an airplane during freefall which is significant because a plane was not to be flying through the same airspace as the jumpers; I’m assuming because if you are falling you can’t exactly stop yourself from hitting a plane if it is right in your path.  But, I don’t worry about things like that. When the chute opened we were able to have some real fun. I really enjoyed getting to spin in circles as we descended. My jumping buddy asked me several times about my stomach. I thought he was being weird asking irrelevant questions. As an afterthought I think he was worried that I would lose my cookies and because we were drifting downwards it would go up instead of down. We came in fast and sat down in the gravel to stop. The plane ride was about 30 minutes. The falling and parachuting was maybe 10 minutes. It is sad that you have this once in a lifetime adventure and it is over so quickly.

For Thanksgiving while some of Jogie’s family came to visit us we took them on a Hot Air Balloon ride. I have long had a secret desire to go up in a Hot Air Balloon. When I was a little girl one of my grandma’s had gifted me and two of my siblings with books that had swapped out character names for our names. In the plot of the book where I was the main character I see hot air balloons floating outside my window and express wonderment about what it would be like to go up in one. I talk to my sister about what she thinks it would be like to be in one. I ask Grandma if they would let me go up in one. Of course the children’s story continues with me getting a chance to go up in a hot air balloon and I get to take Grandma, my sister and my brother with me.  On this day in 2012 it was not just a story about me getting to go up in a hot air balloon; I really did it!

Despite being only a couple miles from our house the experience felt like a vacation with its romantic, easy going leisure. We embraced the vacation atmosphere by taking pictures of everything including the sunrise, of our shadows, of our vehicle, and of the houses as they appear from google earth. The balloon itself was huge! I think our house could fit inside of it. It is built to hold 40,000 cubic feet of hot air. The fabric for the balloon fits into a bag the size of an economy car. The basket is that size as well.  It took 30 minutes at least to roll out the balloon fabric and get it ready to fill up. The balloon was lying on the ground when we start to fill it up. When it had plenty of air in it they turned on burners to heat the air so it will rise. Just like the science project my Dad and I did in the garage when I was little, the heat going into the balloon caused it to rise up in the air. The balloon rising in the air also up-righted the basket. The basket held 10 people. When the basket was upright everyone piled in.

The balloon lifted slowly and without feeling any sort of engine startup we had lifted up into the air. Once everyone was in we were at the whim of the balloon and wherever the breeze took us. It was quite relaxing to drift along without a destination at all. The world was so beautiful and peaceful early in the morning as we drifted along in the balloon.  From the balloon we had no perception of how fast we were going. As we were descending the balloon operator dramatized just how quickly we were going by tossing out a folded up business card. It floated upwards and away. We were descending faster than a folded up business card was falling.

The landing was rather adventuresome. We bumped a tree branch and then hit the ground. The balloon wanted to lift off again.  Since we had our balloon chasers acting as brakes our basket tried to tip us out onto the desert.

If I had to choose what was more enjoyable skydiving or hot air ballooning I would say the hot air balloon. Of course that means that Jogie would say the skydiving.

Golden Birthdays and Sprint Triathlons

Back in April during a Diamondbacks baseball game our friends with us suggested that the group of us should do a Sprint Triathlon. She gave us the date they were considering and the distances that we would take on for this. Namely a 400 meter swim, a 5 km run, and a 20 km bike ride. The idea was tantalizing and really exciting. After thinking about it and practicing in all three events we are officially doing the triathlon in August! We are very excited about it.

My family members over the phone get earfuls regularly of triathlon preparation. I talk to my youngest brother about tips he has from cross country that I could use. And I ask him every time I talk with him if he wants to come to Phoenix so he can do the triathlon with me. He hasn’t said yes yet; but he hasn’t said no. He usually just laughs at the idea. One day…

To get ready for the triathlon I had to get off my spacious patooshki and get moving. I had to learn how to swim. Thank heavens for wonderful friends who have amazing skills to get me started on real life swimming; as well as for Jogie to push me to swim farther and faster than I would have thought possible. Swimming is still new and challenging. However, at the pool recently a neighbor asked me if I was a professional because I was swimming so well. Whatever the motivation from his words I would have never thought in my crazy inebriated dreams that I could be considered a professional swimmer. So I’ll take it.

The event that has turned out to be the most fun for me has been the biking.

One of the things on our shopping list for the triathlon was a pair of bikes suitable for the triathlon. The bike I had ridden in high school was back in Boise stripped for parts courtesy of my brother. I decided what I wanted most for my birthday was a bike. Specifically I wanted to go on a bike ride on my new bike. I got my birthday wish. I had done my shopping and knew what bike I wanted to get. When Jogie had time to go shopping with me he got really excited. He wanted to get bikes that were very nice.

My coworkers have been super supportive of my triathlon efforts. They check in with how the previous evening’s workout went as well as inquire as to what that night’s workout would entail. When I rode my bike into work they expressed how proud and amazed they were that I had done that. I was similarly stoked with personal pride for what I did. I left my house at six in the morning so I could bike the fifteen miles to work and be there on time. Having accomplished this was a huge triumph for me, and I got to share that triumph with them.

I have long awaited and looked forward for the birthday where I would turn the same age as the date. I always thought it would feel really neat. I was right. It was an amazing birthday. It could not have been better, nor could I have done anything else. Timing was perfect. It was a Saturday so I did not have work. And it was also a break in school for Jogie so he did not have to do any studying. Bright and early we did a run. When we got back home we ate some birthday cake for breakfast. (Birthday cake for breakfast is starting to become a tradition in our little family and I am not opposed.) We went to the movies at a theater that serves food so we got lunch and a movie. We picked up our new bikes. We test rode them out to Jogie’s school and on the way we got to show them off to a couple friends. We went out to dinner at a Spanish restaurant that was not anything to write home about. When we came home we admired our new bikes. Seriously, we did a photo shoot of our bikes, occasionally with us in the pictures. Jogie was continuously commenting on how I got two bikes for my birthday and that I was so nice to let him ride one of them. The day was a sweet reminder of what a birthday meant when I was little and how that feeling exists still. It was a day full of adventures that was wonderful because I got to share them with the one I love.

Left Neglected

Jogie gets so jealous that I can read books because I want to rather than because my teachers are forcing me to. And that I have time to do this rather than worrying about how I will find time to study for the next ridiculously ridiculous test. The latest book I have read is Left Neglected by Lisa Genova.

This book details the experience of Sarah who suffers a traumatic brain injury which results in Left Neglect. In Sarah’s life she has every day overscheduled beyond what can reasonably be done by one person. She is very successful in her career and her company relies heavily on her. She has a family of three kids who need and crave her attention. She also has a husband with whom she has limited time to strengthen that relationship. If that wasn’t enough she has two mortgages and a boatload of debt from school. In her mind her stamp of success is in her busy lifestyle and her family’s high standard of living.

That changes when she tries to multitask while driving. Following her car accident her brain stops paying attention to anything on the left side. She is diagnosed with Left Neglect. She can not see someone standing on the left side of the room. She can not see the spoon on the left side of her bowl. Perhaps most devastating to her is that she can not read words on the left side of a page or sometimes even the left side of a word. Due to her traumatic brain injury she has to relearn simple tasks like walking and reading.

Sarah struggles with her new status as a disabled person. I work at a disability law firm helping people who become disabled get on Social Security Disability to help with medical coverage and living expenses. Because of my daily experiences at work I had in the back of my head the question of whether she would qualify for disability benefits. Sarah because of her young age, high education, and previous work as a skilled laborer had attributes that gave her a good chance of being able to return to the workforce.

Sarah through her rehabilitation had to define success differently. Success was no longer her busy lifestyle and her high standard of living. Success became finding the brownie on the left side of the plate, reading the entire newspaper with the exceptions of the boring parts. Success became getting her own pop from the fridge.

Sarah also had to realign her life values through her rehabilitation. Before her car accident Sarah valued her career and show of prosperity. Following her car accident she lost grasp on these values and was no longer able to define herself positively in these fields. Through her Left Neglect relationships especially with her family became what she valued the most. She got to know her kids and her mom in a way that she never had had time to do before.

Reading this book had me thinking most about whether I am living the life that I want to live. Do I feel successful in what I am spending my days doing? Am I spending my time on things or with the people that I value the most? Do I really need to rush through so much of my daily tasks? Can I save something for tomorrow?

Hungry for the Games

I am such a nerd! And I love it. I absolutely went to the midnight showing of The Hunger Games, and totally rocked the braid in my own style of Katniss. Though instead of her side French braid that went into one I did a waterfall that went into a five strand braid. On a side note I have become really nerdy about braiding my hair. I have been perfecting four and five strand braids as well as waterfall and dutch braids.

I loved watching The Hunger Games with friends. It was awesome and the anticipation was so exciting! My coworkers who have not read the book were super excited for me to see the movie. Daily I was reminded that it was coming out soon.

Jogie who was not available for the midnight showing took me later so we could watch it together. It was wonderful to be able to go to the movie with him. This was a movie that two viewings were wonderful as I could not absorb it all in one viewing.

Defying Gravity

On Thursday, March 1, 2012, Jogie and I went with a couple in our ward to see the Broadway musical Wicked. It was wonderful! Though we might not have chosen going to a Broadway musical for ourselves – we loved it and are so glad our friends invited us along. The group of us had reserved seats at the highest and furthest back point in the theater. Yet when we got the tickets we found that we were bumped up to somewhere around the vicinity of row twenty. Yep, row 20! After the performance we checked out where our seats originally were supposed to be, and it was a completely different view. Those seats were higher than the top of the curtain!

The performance was wonderful! The characters were so genuine and entertaining; especially Elphaba and Galinda. The scene changes were impeccably done. I do wish that there had been closed captioning so I could follow along with the words of the songs. Alas, the limitation of a live performance. The scene where Elphaba was flying as she sung Defying Gravity was amazing! It had so much energy. I tried really hard to see what was supporting her in the air and saw nothing. So, I can only conclude that she really was flying.

Following the performance we got to meet some of the cast. I certainly would not have recognized the girl who played Elphaba. In the performance I saw a tall skinny girl. Yet, the girl we met was short and had very poofy hair. Oh, and she did not look the least bit green.

We are so glad that we were able to go and experience Broadway live. Definitely worth it.