Make History or Be Remembered

A coworker wore into work on casual Friday a t-shirt that had the words “well behaved women seldom make history.” This was a souvenir gift from her boyfriend’s parents.  I sniggered with her that these potential in laws are saying she is not a well behaved woman. She insisted that the phrase is well known and does not necessarily mean that she is a naughty girl in the eyes of these parents. Upon a Google search we found the source of the statement. It was in the opening paragraph of a literary journal article about Puritan women and what is known about them through their eulogies. The article is written by Laurel Thatcher Ulrich.

While at BYU studying history the name Laurel Thatcher Ulrich popped up in one of the required History classes. She is an LDS historian who wrote about Puritan women’s history. The fields of history that I have been most drawn to are colonial period, and women’s history. Why I did not gravitate to this historian earlier I just don’t know. Regardless, in the unexpected form of a t-shirt, I was introduced again. I took a break from reading adventure fiction novels and wet my feet in historian texts once again.

“Well-behaved women seldom make history” draws to mind very diverse yet similar images. Any woman that lived many years ago had to have done something extraordinary in order to be remembered today. By today’s standards this extraordinary thing would be considered quite ordinary; but at the time of the historical woman it could very likely have been considered misbehavior. The extraordinary thing could have been at one time keeping a journal as the written word was not the societal norm it is today. Or it could have been cross dressing and joining the army to physically fight for freedom. Both circumstances would allow present persons to remember and connect with these women. I feel there is a difference, however, between making history and becoming notorious. Notoriety seems to have a sense of evil doing to it that is beyond the line of misbehavior. In the vast history of witch hunting for example there were women who were targeted for life circumstances of being single or childless and that was the extent of their misbehavior. There were likely others who in actuality were acting with intentions that were mean and unrighteous and this was why they became targets for the witch hunts.

The last line of the book sums up my interpretation of the phrase best. Mrs. Ulrich writes, “Well-behaved women make history when they do the unexpected, when they create and preserve records, and when later generations care.” It is a simple formula for how to be remembered. To make history one simply does something unexpected and someone else cares. Being remembered does not always require misbehavior.

One of the stories in the book was about two old women who decided that they wanted to register to vote despite being before the 19^th Ammendment. They were denied in their endeavor. In response these sisters in their late seventies and early eighties decided they would no longer pay the taxes on their farm. The tax collector came to collect the taxes and took their cows as payment. The cows would not be milked by anyone other than the tenant of the sisters. When the cows were milked the woman who treated the milk would not do so because the cows were stolen, and thus the milk spoiled. The cows after an absence were returned to the women in whole. A journalist at the time wrote, “Does taxation without representation cease to be tyranny, and become justice, when the property-owner is a woman?” The imagery of the Revolutionary War in the words of this journalist did make me laugh at loud. The stubbornness of these Grandmas is inspiring and endearing.

Many young girls want to grow up to be famous. They want people to know who they are. As they grow up, these little girls now little grandma’s, no longer want to be famous; but instead want to be remembered. It is far easier to be remembered today with our prevalence and ease of journaling and social media, photography and computers. The key ingredient to being remembered is that someone needs to care. Misbehavior stands out as it is often sensational and scandalous; yet other traits of bravery and personality can also entice future generations to care.

Past generations of women that we remember today had some advantages that their contemporaries likely did not. These women were very talented in some regard. This could have been in art, music, writing, or beauty. Their talents set them apart from other women who may have had the same talents on a more mediocre scale. Other women who had the social standing and thus familial wealth to pay for training to develop these talents further were noted to be very accomplished as well. Thus, an exceptional talent or the means to develop an exceptional talent allowed such women to stand out from the crowd. Women that others noted as exceptional were granted immortality through writings or images. Those works that have been preserved for today allow current men and women a glimpse into the lives that these women lived. And thus, be remembered.

The statement “Well-behaved Women Seldom Make History” could perhaps be true. Breaking gender and societal norms for women has granted many historical women a place in history. Women that fought in battles, women that dressed in drag, women that did what had been men’s work, women who did not bear children, women who used crass language. These women who acted like men would have stood out from the other women in their towns. People who met these masculine women would have passed word about her for good or ill. These women would have been written about and thus we have something to remember them by.

Well-behaved women can write their own place in history. Through journals, diaries, stories, and pictures ordinary everyday women are remembered. They very likely lived very ordinary lives filled with mundane chores and tasks. These daily tasks make up the whole of the individual and the life that they lived. There is something very exciting about discovering what someone did with their life. What historical events were they blessed to see or be a part of. What kind of person they were. “By small and simple things are great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). It is the little details that make the life of the individual. Every person lives their own unique life and has their unique experiences and perspectives. There are similarities in what many people see and say. Yet there cannot be two exact lives. We have been blessed to have agency. To choose for ourselves what we will do with the time on Earth that we have been given.

To be remembered someone else needs to care. In my journal I write for myself. I don’t imagine anyone else would care as much as I would. But, I care. I care about the mundane, boring, and repetitive daily activities. I care because I remember. I remember the person I was when I wrote the entry. I remember what I wrote, and I remember what I did not write. Even if I am the only person to care, the girl and the young woman who wrote the journal entries long ago will always be remembered.