A coworker wore into work on casual Friday a t-shirt that had
the words “well behaved women seldom make history.” This was a souvenir gift
from her boyfriend’s parents. I
sniggered with her that these potential in laws are saying she is not a well
behaved woman. She insisted that the phrase is well known and does not
necessarily mean that she is a naughty girl in the eyes of these parents. Upon
a Google search we found the source of the statement. It was in the opening
paragraph of a literary journal article about Puritan women and what is known
about them through their eulogies. The article is written by Laurel Thatcher
Ulrich.
While at BYU studying history the name Laurel Thatcher
Ulrich popped up in one of the required History classes. She is an LDS
historian who wrote about Puritan women’s history. The fields of history that I
have been most drawn to are colonial period, and women’s history. Why I did not
gravitate to this historian earlier I just don’t know. Regardless, in the
unexpected form of a t-shirt, I was introduced again. I took a break from
reading adventure fiction novels and wet my feet in historian texts once again.
“Well-behaved women seldom make history” draws to mind very
diverse yet similar images. Any woman that lived many years ago had to have
done something extraordinary in order to be remembered today. By today’s
standards this extraordinary thing would be considered quite ordinary; but at
the time of the historical woman it could very likely have been considered
misbehavior. The extraordinary thing could have been at one time keeping a
journal as the written word was not the societal norm it is today. Or it could
have been cross dressing and joining the army to physically fight for freedom. Both
circumstances would allow present persons to remember and connect with these
women. I feel there is a difference, however, between making history and
becoming notorious. Notoriety seems to have a sense of evil doing to it that is
beyond the line of misbehavior. In the vast history of witch hunting for
example there were women who were targeted for life circumstances of being
single or childless and that was the extent of their misbehavior. There were
likely others who in actuality were acting with intentions that were mean and
unrighteous and this was why they became targets for the witch hunts.
The last line of the book sums up my interpretation of the
phrase best. Mrs. Ulrich writes, “Well-behaved women make history when they do
the unexpected, when they create and preserve records, and when later
generations care.” It is a simple formula for how to be remembered. To make history
one simply does something unexpected and someone else cares. Being remembered
does not always require misbehavior.
One of the stories in the book was about two old women who
decided that they wanted to register to vote despite being before the 19th
Ammendment. They were denied in their endeavor. In response these sisters in
their late seventies and early eighties decided they would no longer pay the
taxes on their farm. The tax collector came to collect the taxes and took their
cows as payment. The cows would not be milked by anyone other than the tenant
of the sisters. When the cows were milked the woman who treated the milk would
not do so because the cows were stolen, and thus the milk spoiled. The cows
after an absence were returned to the women in whole. A journalist at the time wrote,
“Does taxation without representation cease to be tyranny, and become justice,
when the property-owner is a woman?” The imagery of the Revolutionary War in
the words of this journalist did make me laugh at loud. The stubbornness of
these Grandmas is inspiring and endearing.
Many young girls want to grow up to be famous. They want
people to know who they are. As they grow up, these little girls now little
grandma’s, no longer want to be famous; but instead want to be remembered. It
is far easier to be remembered today with our prevalence and ease of journaling
and social media, photography and computers. The key ingredient to being
remembered is that someone needs to care. Misbehavior stands out as it is often
sensational and scandalous; yet other traits of bravery and personality can
also entice future generations to care.
Past generations of women that we remember today had some advantages
that their contemporaries likely did not. These women were very talented in
some regard. This could have been in art, music, writing, or beauty. Their
talents set them apart from other women who may have had the same talents on a
more mediocre scale. Other women who had the social standing and thus familial wealth
to pay for training to develop these talents further were noted to be very
accomplished as well. Thus, an exceptional talent or the means to develop an
exceptional talent allowed such women to stand out from the crowd. Women that
others noted as exceptional were granted immortality through writings or
images. Those works that have been preserved for today allow current men and
women a glimpse into the lives that these women lived. And thus, be remembered.
The statement “Well-behaved Women Seldom Make History” could
perhaps be true. Breaking gender and societal norms for women has granted many
historical women a place in history. Women that fought in battles, women that
dressed in drag, women that did what had been men’s work, women who did not
bear children, women who used crass language. These women who acted like men would
have stood out from the other women in their towns. People who met these
masculine women would have passed word about her for good or ill. These women
would have been written about and thus we have something to remember them by.
Well-behaved women can write their own place in history. Through
journals, diaries, stories, and pictures ordinary everyday women are
remembered. They very likely lived very ordinary lives filled with mundane
chores and tasks. These daily tasks make up the whole of the individual and the
life that they lived. There is something very exciting about discovering what
someone did with their life. What historical events were they blessed to see or
be a part of. What kind of person they were. “By small and simple things are
great things brought to pass” (Alma 37:6). It is the little details that make
the life of the individual. Every person lives their own unique life and has
their unique experiences and perspectives. There are similarities in what many
people see and say. Yet there cannot be two exact lives. We have been blessed
to have agency. To choose for ourselves what we will do with the time on Earth
that we have been given.
To be remembered someone else needs to care. In my journal I
write for myself. I don’t imagine anyone else would care as much as I would.
But, I care. I care about the mundane, boring, and repetitive daily activities.
I care because I remember. I remember the person I was when I wrote the entry.
I remember what I wrote, and I remember what I did not write. Even if I am the
only person to care, the girl and the young woman who wrote the journal entries
long ago will always be remembered.
